My t-shirt

Another post, this time an assignment from my writing group:

My t-shirt is light, even featherweight.  It defies the laws of gravity.  The most stunning thing about this is its light weight even amongst the solid, even heavy things that comprise it.

The basis of this shirt is nothing more than the light golden threads of love.  They are incandescent, yet wholly grounding and a foundation of all I need.  Those ethereal strands give way to nothing, and are infused with more.  Purple threads are those of my belief in God, and all he has done for me.  I feel his unconditional support through everything in those silky purple strands.  Threads of red are of my fiery passion for life and all it has to offer.  It's time that I wear them to their fullest potential, and allow them to hold me up amongst the gold and purple.  Then comes the color blue, the true blue of my family and friends.  They are threaded closely to the gold everywhere, as their love and support shine forth, practically rivaling all in their path.  

There is a path of brown throughout, the dull brown of bipolar disorder.  The strands are confusing, zigging this way and that, with no direction, almost trying to pull the shirt apart.  And yet, the gold and blue and purple and red all fight and keep that shirt going strong.  It's the one shirt I have for the rest of my life, and it needs to stay together.  The brown cannot tear it, though it may try.  

There are other colors as well; the pink of hard work, the yellow of my nephew's smile, the green of my wonderful husband and his constancy in the face of life and all that those brown strands try to throw at me.  There are even black strands of suicide, but again, the rainbow of all that I have makes sure that they are thin and flimsy, never truly making a strong bind anywhere.  They never connect.

My t-shirt is complete. It knows the joy of success and love, and the hardship of illness and heartbreak.  It is completely me, with all the brilliance and dullness of a life lived.  

This t-shirt is my song of life, and I shall sing it.

Moving Along...

Hello, my faithful readers! Laura here, with another set of musings.  I sit here in air-conditioned comfort, watching an old episode of "Torchwood", and I can't help but wonder what's coming down the line.

I have been working hard on my "program", CBT and DBT skills mixed with a heavy dose of gratitude for all I have.  There are those so less fortunate; when I start to feel down or wondering what this silly life is all about, I force myself to remember all that is done for me on a regular basis.  I work hard to remember my skills and to USE THEM, even when sitting in a corner and just ignoring the world would be easier.  

In the "holy crap what a win" column, I saw a beautiful wedding this weekend.  I packed my carry on and boarded a plane for sunny Los Angeles. My dear friend Carrie married the love of her life, Akshay, in a wondrous Indian ceremony, followed by a kick-ass reception.  I was a little bummed that I couldn't squeeze every last drop of fun out of the evening because of med limitations, but that was a minor point compared to all the beauty and love that surrounded and infused the entire 3 days.  Akshay and Carrie are on the road now, on the road of that fantastic adventure of marriage.  And I got to be there to see it.  It takes the breath away to know that I was there for that awe-inspiring moment.  There's a new married couple in the world, folks, and wait til you get a load of them!

The other big thing that I am so grateful for from this weekend is that I got to spend the entire time with my beloved ASPs.  We are a tightly-knit group of friends from undergrad who still try to stay in touch as much as possible and make all these important life events.  They were there for my wedding, we were all at Snapps' and Lill's weddings, and now Carrie's.  We see each other for Christmas when we can, and have had a few "ASP weekends" just to stay in touch and be near each other. It makes me so happy to know that there are 4 other women out there who have my back through thick and thin.  They are unfailing in their love for me, as I am for them.  Heather was my roommate in college, and she is the friend that I can call and just blab about nothing with, laughing far too loud and being silly together.  The five of us just can't be beat; we are Alpha Sigma Pillow until the end!

I could go on about things in my own life, bellyaching or taking note of what I want to be different, to change about myself.  But for today, I choose to be a part of this great group of women, and enjoy the memories we share.  For today, moving along means remembering and enjoying, no strings attached.