Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The title of this blog is.....

..... "Coffee and Lithium".  Because that's what I lived on for years.  If it didn't have caffeine or psychotropic enhancers of some kind, it didn't pass these lips.  I'm a purist.

But if I were to re-title this blog, it would most likely be called "Coffee and Ben & Jerry's".  Because that's what I'm living on now.  I don't really give in to fads or any of that nonsense.... Mass General and all the other big hospitals in the area like to say that diet and exercise will prolong my life.  I'm sure that if I hold out long enough, it will be proven that I was right from the start..... it was the random days of 5 or 6 iced coffees imbibed within 12 hours that kept me strong.  Hey, when I'm the only guy left alive post-Apocalypse, walking a Bible typed in Braille to the ends of the earth, you'll all know for sure.....

All self-congratulatory humorous nonsense aside, I'm fat.  I weight about 130 pounds more than I should.  And that's not model weight; that's "She's always going to be a bit large" weight.  I was fat when I was a kid.  I was fat in high school (which was wicked populah).  I was fat in college.  I was a fat bride.  I am now a fat, nearing middle-age adult.  I have no idea what to do with myself.  Nope!  Scratch that.... I have EVERY IDEA of what to do with myself..... I'm a semi-intelligent person who is aware every diet/exercise regimen known to God and man.  I know what every single regimen does and why it works.

I think I just need a reason to do it.

When I was in high school/college, I figured I'd have to shed some weight sooner or later to "find me a man!".... but then I met Paulie, and all the after-school specials were right; it's about your insides, not your outsides.  I have a gym membership (which I use 2-3 times a month now).  I have a brilliant mind for foods and what I like; I could figure out healthy meal options as quickly as my Corolla pulls into the Wendy's drive-through.... so why do I keep pulling the car around?

What do people do to motivate themselves when they know the billion reasons why they should do something and they still can't???  If I keep using more question marks, will I suddenly get the answer?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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