When that gingerbread feeling turns to shit....

WARNING: General ranting ahead.....

So it's Christmas again with its tinsel and trees blah blah blah happy blah blah sacred blah blah fellow man.

Well, what do you do when you'd rather stab your fellow man in the throat with a nice ol shard of glass than wish them a "Happy Holiday"? Do you stay inside and keep yourself to yourself? Do you try to go out little by little, hoping you won't commit rageful homicide?

What does one do when no one can seem to do anything right, including yourself? 

What do you MEAN you don't know where my sheet music is????

What do you MEAN the insurance won't pay for this medication??? It costs $200!!!!! 

You catch my drift. 

I am taking my medication, keeping all my doctor's appointments, taking stock via journal each day, and yet, I just want the world to go away. I am trying to keep my urges to cut at bay.  My husband is so ill, and I'm doing everything I can think of to make him better, but it's not enough.  It's just never enough.  I am not enough.

For me, the next few days will require patience, the "Glad Game", and PRNs. 

Here's hoping....Merry Fucking Christmas.