Where has she been?

That may be what some of you are asking, gentle readers. Well, since leaving the hospital last month, I've continued to receive ECT treatments while I attempt to "live life". I put that in quotes because I really have no idea what I'm doing.  I've stayed in touch with friends, gone back to my job, am doing a little singing, and am somehow managing to sort of keep my house clean.

ECT is no joke. The anesthesia is hard to take; I'm a zombie after every treatment. The thing that's really bothering me now is that I'm no longer getting a good effect from the treatments anymore. The medication I'm on is doing no good. I'm holding myself together with spit and bailing wire. 

But there is a difference this go-around. I REFUSE to let this lick me. Meds and therapies may not be helping this time, but my attitude remains forward-thinking and positive. I say rosaries to get me through the worst of the crying jags, and I am hell-bent on getting my work done with a smile on my face.

I know I have some decisions to make: should I continue with ECT? Should I be trying another med?another doctor? One thing is for sure: I'm doing this OUTSIDE OF A HOSPITAL. I will not be defeated, I will not let the depression take over.

So again the question is asked: Where has she been? The answer is actually that until the other day, I'd forgotten I even had a blog. Thanks, ECT.

Well now I've remembered, and I hope you'll hear a lot more from me in the coming months!